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There are certain people just born to be in a sad case scenario… No, I am not referring to handicapped person but I am referring to people who seems to have everything yet lack of one most important thing, a personality! Or should I say, an interesting personality?!

I just recently got to know that some people (don’t force me to tell u who la…) is just a very “sad” person. It was so sad that I am worry for him or should I say, worry for his future partner that in any case he has one, should have real great patient with that man. (No, no more talking about my boss, this is another topic)

This sad guy is 37 year old who believed to be super workaholic who don’t seems to have a life and God knows how long he hasn’t go out with a girl… The only chance that he had meeting up with gals, he would tried his very best to act like a million dollar guy who is talking on boring subjects and showing of his knowledge about everything which cause every gal to be yawning to death and every smart gal out there would know how fake that acting was and will be screaming their soul out to get out of the conversation with him. No doubt he has quite a attractive appearance and background yet only if he could remain silence and keeping his cool….but No!!! He would not….and that’s why things have to turn sad…

Sometimes, I am amaze with his joke which is so dry yet he could enjoy laughing himself… And talking to him is never a happy conversation because it is either a boring subject or a boring object, which…most of the time is both of that. A 37 year old told a 23 year old girl that : hey u look like a manga character is definitely not a compliment, and neither it is a very interesting catch-line…It simply shows how immature a person is, and I am not saying it is wrong to be 37 year old and cant read manga or anime but at least u would want to keep that to urself until u get to know that person better of if that girl told u that she is a fan of manga… Simply telling people that : hey u look like one of the manga character don’t make u look young ok? People expecting some maturity from your age so act like one for Christ sake!

And worst still if he started touching newly met fren up and down as if he had never seen a female before. If u r desperate, get a whore to do it, you don’t need to freak people out by showing ur ’sexual interest’ at the very first time u met.

Well, if u cant get interesting gal, at least get someone from ur level, who is equally boring workaholic that don’t have a life and perhaps that could make up good sex or whatsoever. But he insisting acting like he is a prince charming, or trying hard to be interesting. I could only say I am impressed with his ego and confidence that he dare to make a fool out of himself.

I believe he do not know how to please a girl. I don’t mean anything on the bed, and in fact i don’t have any interest to know if he is good in bed. But before getting a girl onto the bed, one guy have to put in quite a lot of effort (especially when the other party is not having a same intention) but some guy just tried too hard to a point that it screw up everything. I am sorry if u r born not so charming, but I am even sorry if u r born with good looks, brain and wealth and still cant get a girl!!! It is sad isn’t it?

Shila even used the word “condolence” to describe my unfortunate encounter with this man and sorry to say, I do agree…It is simply very plain sad case and even sadder when I need to witness this whole thing by myself and putting some innocent girl life in danger at his hands. My apology for the foolish act of this man and I shall quarantine him from clubbing with us in future… So…That’s it, just to say that there are very sad people in this world, and try not to be nice to them even though u felt sorry for them because certain people do not need mercy when they are making a fool out of themselves. I could only advise he need to get some counseling and perhaps AsiaWorks Power of Intimacy course would probably help…

第一次用华文写部落格，却还是因为你。

3年过去了，还以为可以很彻底的忘记你，可是每年的十月份，总会让我不自觉地想念你。刚才点开了你的friendster，看到你的status 改成了in a relationship, 顿时，我脸颊发烫，心中翻腾了一下…如果还是三年前，同样的反应还会加上丝丝窃喜，现在，只会是一种隐约的痛。再次证实了，你还是我心中的一个包袱，拿得起，却始终放不下的包袱。

你和我就像是真实版本的“生日快乐”，遗憾中带着一点感伤，但又是那种的遗憾美化了我们的人生。走在茫茫人海中，有时还是会去刻意避开那些与你相似的背影，可是如果真的遇见了，我想我还是会对你点头微笑。

今年，不同往年，我不会再用简讯祝你生日快乐，希望以后也不会…今年，就在这里，最后一次的祝你生日快乐，虽然明明知道你不会看到也看不明白。但是，还是希望以后的每一年里，你都可以健健康康，平平安安的从实的生活。

It sucks from the head to toe and it comes back to the head now…to have your heart pounding over the someone means you actually found yourself alive after a long while and yet when it didn’t continue having the beat, you doubt if you could survive?

I like this guy whom I recently know and the feeling just got stronger day by day…I am still not sure if he likes me or not but I can sense that we can only be frens…Maybe good frens…Well, never be too sure I would say…but, I don’t know…I am simply too tired to think and anticipate and then get myself all disappointed again… “Hope” only exist in movies and “happily ever after” only appears in fairy tales! Perhaps I believe too much in love, imagine too much good things about love that could never happen…I should try writing love novel, that could bring me great fortune I guess…

Cigarette done me no good…and I try not to get myself drunk. But the feeling in me had been really sickening. Missing someone that loves you is totally sweet yet torturing… Missing someone that you are not sure if he love you??? That is plain torture! it is like you r having an itch in your heart, unreachable to scratch… How can love to be as sickening as this? And all the while the love I am experiencing is plain sickening experiences? If I can’t get love, then why let me love?

Whenever there is a heart pounding moment, there follows a sickening moment like this… Do I not deserve or am I simply not worthy? What do I lack that other girls out there have? Can someone just stop me from loving anymore? Can someone just leave my heart to die forever and never let it feel anything at all? Why does it need to be this hard to love somebody? When moment like this happen, I could only blame myself for being so weak…I hate love, I hate the moment like this and it brings me down everytime…

With the recent news of Anwar fucking somebody’s
ass again…and Najib pretending like he has nothing whatsoever to do
with that is seriously sickening down the throat!! Poor Anwar, he is
now “at least” trying to start a life and yet he had been attack again,
I “wonder” whose the master mind behind there? No… Not our sleepy
head PM u morons!!Somebody else la~ Go guess and see!

Like what Nurul Izzah said on Tues 1st July The
Sun newspaper :What bad has he done to gain so much hatred? Excatly…
What have Anwar really do infact that he deserve so much torture? Dont
get me wrong, I am not his fan but I am pitty of him… If ever Anwar
were banging someone from the back all these while, (though I honestly
belive he is innocent right from the start) then why the heck police
just wanna catch him alone? I am sure there are police raping girls in
the cell…you know… or some gay Muslim that is banging quietly back
there, why dun u catch them? and bring them to syriah court? why just
Anwar? why only him? what make him so special that Malaysian gov simply
cannot put the poor old man in peace? Until he dun even have a second
of relief, until his life is always in horror and until he needs
protection to safe guard his own safety in his own country?!

And guessw hat our sleepy head PM said on Wed 2nd
July The Sun? “Anwar will beSAFE and NOT BE VICTIMISED” Yea right! Why
not you come and kiss my bigfat Ass??? You told the country that there
wont be a price hike in petrol, putting everyone into peaceful sleep
and guess what? you blown the whole nation up just 2-3 days after that
giving a heart-attack tour ppl and says: Wooola! Guess what? Surprise!!
So dear sleepy headlovey dovey PM, we have got enough with ur promises
and none of themreally matters anymore… Because who knows just in
case Anwar gotknock by a massive accident in the high way…or
somehow…brick falls on his head or just happen to walk by a robbery
scene and got himself hurt… and yea, we know what you will say:
that’s accident and oppps!  too bad…maybe he is just bad luck la….I
feel rather sorry for him, poor dude, but what to do? Accident do
happens mah…so, dun worry la…Malaysia is a nice, harmony, beautiful
country and let’s move onto our life, and nothing important dun nudge
me cos I will be sleepingwith my dear dear, ok?

Tiu nia seng eh~

Since our sleepy head becameour PM, he had been
megah megah wanted to banteraskan rasuah, hapuskan jenayah….yea
right…see if we hv got anything done since 2003?erm….anything at
all? NOTHING!! So dun worry dear Malaysian, dog just trying to bark
very loud, but dun be afraid, he wont bite…all he do is eat and
sleep…and jalan-jalan cari makan during kenduri and opening ceremony,
so dun worry, those who is still involve incorruption, pls be calm, u
will not get caught by PM, he has a kind soul and he will remain this
way for another few yrs….ma hai!

Can someone really smart and really brave go
kidnap all of them and torture them for say a month then release them
back to their work ar? I mean it, seriously just let it be someone who
is smart and brave! I am brave but I am not smart enuff…of course the
person whois very brave and very smart should be smart enuff to hide
his/her identity la….if not hor, he mah heong gang lor

I am very very sick to see this nation going this
way… And I am already expected, what next general election catch line
for BN would be:Opposition cant do job, so why vote them? yea
right….half of the plan kena water down by you all edy lor, so what
else u wanna say? Ppl in Penang doing job but still been critisize
lor….Just took up the job only already kena warning lor….so, what
do u want?  And even if ppl in BN/ UMNO like Datuk Zaid wanna do
something otherswill say he anti-Malay, non-malay supporter
etc…yea…see….see or not??? Ppl like Zaid Ibrahim is not
anti-Malay, he has the conscious that most Malaysian are poison so not
to have it anymore and I am sure he is sick and tired of how Malaysia
handling its problem in the nonsensical ways…Press are gag to tell
the truth, the people are afraid to say and act, all they do is sitting
by the coffee shop and cries on the price hike…”what could the people
do?” They ask….I can only say the answer lies with you! You…and
only you…The ppl should not afraid of their gov bcos it should be the
gov to be very afraid ofthe ppl…

Do not blame the other race for having better treatment under NEP,
donot ever hate the bumiputra as they have nothing to do with it…
Hate the gov, hate those in the high rank that so afraid to lose
their”privileges”. Do you think ppl in rural kampung area will ever get
anyhelp from NEP? Do you seriously think if the special loan provided
bythe Bank will actually help those who is really in need? think
again…those who lives in kampung that drive a motorbike working from
day tonite at the paddy field would ever understand what is their
rights? Andevery 5 yrs when some political icon pay them a visit and
give them akenduri, they will be happy enuff to think that’s what it
means NEP,that’s what they are so special…. Come on, do u really
think so? If they can benefit from any funds that put forward? Think
for yourself.

The so-called Typical Malaysian Mentality is not
own by rakyat themselves but has been inplant and perhaps poison since
the younger days. Other country can be brave enuff to make politics a
subject to study inschool, why not Malaysia? and oh yea…..even if
they did guess what they will gonna teach….. And even now the sejarah
has been sugar coated, chinese or indian heroes that fought for
independent has been pushed back to the back stage and soon to be
vanish from Malaysian history…. and soon our next generation will
gonna believe that the Malay own this land and we are just mere
pendatang asing who needs shelter…and we are so pathetic but
hey…..didn’t Parameswara also ran all the way from Indonesia last
time ar?

Thinking of this, I would say a thousand niamah edy! you could be
thinking what a big deal? I have a degree, I have the money, I have
contacts in oversea, worst come to worst I migrate la! so what the
fuck!? yes… I could hv just fly outta Malaysia and start over
somewhere else and never ever consider returning, but this is my land,
my home and my country, why should I ever consider leaving? I dun care
how this is suppose to be, I will not take injustice as obedience…
Truth should be known and my thoughts should be shared!

Good Luck Malaysia!

As most of you already know, I am a kampung girl, and I think u know me as a Sabahan, and I would like to declare once again, I am NOT Sabahan. I would consider myself as Perakian. Because I spent 7 years there, all the good old days I had were all happened there and it was really a good one. I still dreamt of it sometimes, and I really miss those wonderful moment of my life. They were much simple and easy living in kampung then. Life is so much of hapiness and fun!

My mom was not working then, she will normally cook me breakfast and send it to school during recess. Riding the old motorbike with a basket in front of her, she used to bring my brother along, sitting at the front of the motorbike with his tiny pair of legs inside the basket. And during recess, my mom will park her bike underneath the big old tree in front of the classroom and waited with hot mug of noodles or rice. And I was always looking forward to see my mom’s bike even when I was in the classroom. As years go by, I once forgotten how much my mom actually loves me, but thinking about this great sweet memories, I would say my mom is the greatest mom and I can’t repay her enough.

And I used to run around my grandpa’s house…the yard, the bushes, the barn, basically everywhere…Mom always warned me not to go near to the durian trees and now I still try to avoid going there, well, you know, just in case the durian falls on me…haha….And I used to play batminton beside the pineapple bush, because there is the only huge flat empty space available, what troubles me is to pick up the shuttlecocks in between the bushes….

Running around the rambutans orchard is one of my past time after school, sitting on my swing, singing songs, and eating rambutans. Sometimes, I even brought my homework to do it there. I also busy checking if there is any ripe summer berries at the yard, checking on lemons…if there is any durian??? Yea, primary pupil is my occupation at that time, yard patrol was my part time job then…

I used to run to the end of grandpa’s land, somewhere near to the fence seperating two lands, where a small stream is located, and for sure I am gonna bring my pot, my net, basket, cup, pail… bowl… anything I can smuggle out from the house to catch a fish. But everytime the fish will not last for a week, and I had been killing a lot of fishes then…Either they jumped out from the glass bottle because I put in too much of water or I soak them with too much of bread (Yes, I feed my fish with bread, well, that’s what my grandpa do…) I once even tried to catch the fish that is living in the well which I always got myself into trouble trying that…and of course, some rotan and punishment is never avoidable.

And as a tyipical kampung girl, what would life be without a bike ride? Hell yea, riding bike near the coconut plantation is so much fun, cycling around the neighbourhood and try to challenge the speed and skills! I enjoyed the moment challenging the neighbouring kids! I once got chased by stray dogs, and ended up me and my bike were both in the drain due to speeding at a turning…and my wrist was on cement for 3 weeks due to that, and I still remember the boy sitting next to me drew a tortise onto it…

And still nothing beat the moment me, my mom and bro washing the car. Love the pipe, the bucket of water, simply love the water… I normally will pour the whole bucket of water onto my brother which then he will be crying and complaining to mom. Yes, I was such a bully! hehehe…Well, not all the time me and my brother are like cats and dogs, there are times we r good frens too. One of our favourite place to hang out is to hide underneath my dad’s canoe. Though it is hot and not much of space, but we just love it there…It is like our second home, and yea, we did the masak-masak there as well, simply because it if near to the drain and easy access to the hose.

Too bad that life ain’t the same anymore, even now many things at grandpa’s house had already changed, the barn is no longer there, the stream had already dried off, some the rambutans and durians are no longer there, needless to say about my swing…and God knows where is my super bike? Now since eveything had changed, all of that remains is only a beautiful bulk of sweet memories. Well, at least…I have a wonderful childhood!

Well…see, after working in HHTP for almost 8 months, I can say I know my boss is a very good man. (Nah, again…I know u guys who had been keeping track with my blog will be thinking I am holding my boss’s balls again…Let me tell ya, this is the fact…he is not gonna read this bcos he is not computer literated, so, this will not gonna get to him, so, in other words, I am not trying to hold his balls…)

Anyway, he know what a girl needs and what he could give…And on a second thought, he is not only a teacher and boss, he is like a friend, because I know he cares. So boss, I know though you scolded me for my mistake, it is for my own good and I dunno if u hv notice, my memory power has improves tremendeously under ur training…Ahahah…

On a second thought, Mr Tan is far more better than Mr Kwong, cos… haiya…he ar…sien la…As Mary puts it, if I were to choose between Mr Tan and Mr Kwong as date…Mr Tan is apparently the wiser choice. Hahaha!

Dun get me wrong, Mr Tan is already married with 3 kids, Mr Kwong… I think still singles, well…Taurus guy, what else can u expect from them?!

Probably due to the nearby construction noise, I am talking crap now!

Btw, Mr Tan is a Scorpio and I just found out Mrs Tan is Aquarius, well…haha, I always know that this two horoscopes match perfectly and hate each other so well…But hey, see who got the hot lady and who got the rich guy? U both seriously deserved each other, ok, too much of office gossip! *Off*

It had almost been a week…This fucking major construction site near my place had been going on at nite, for the whole night long causing unbearable massive noise that apparently disurbing my sleep.

My panda eyes are getting obvious day by day and God, I still need to drag myself to work in the morning and when I am lack of sleep and cause mistake at work, it is more frustrating! I hate that fucking noise that been keep lingering around my ears.

The sound of machines, motors and steels…Gosh!…I am afraid I am going insane if this problem persist….Even at work when I think about the nite, it make me feeling sudden depressed. I need to go to somewhere quiet. Now i really wish I am deaf, so that the world can leave me in this quietness.

I hv no authority to complain to and the worst thing I can ever do, is to report to police and well enough I know, Malaysian Police Force ain’t gonna give any shit to this matter… Because even they operating at illegal hours, some duit kopi gonna gao dim everything. So, again…I am sitting here silently suffering the miserable nite without sleep! And this is again a very shitty feeling indeed!

How to love a person? I wonder… I am really bad at this…believe me, I…duno how to get into imtimate relationship with a guy… well… on another hand, I don’t want to? Jesus! But I always wanted! God…send someone who is not so complicated, yet men are complaining ladies being complicated, but I think they are 100 times more complicated than me…As far as I am concern, I am very very simple… Erm…maybe not very very…Gee…I don’t know how to love a guy, that’s for sure!

Before the year ends, and before the new year comes…Let me take this opportunity to thanks all my dearest people in my life…

First and foremost, my dad and my mom… As parents, I know you both have always been more than supportive in actions than words. (Yala, typical Chinese parents…) You both take me as who I am no matter how screwed up I was… Keep offering me new opportunities as you always see greater strength in me when I can’t even believe in my own ability. I guess that is what most parents do when they have a screwed up kid like me. But… I sincerely thank you both not only for giving me this life but also for providing me the best of everything… And thank you for trusting me for letting me join AsiaWorks that now brings greater impact into my life! Thank you daddy for rushing all the way out to town in rain and flood just to transfer me some money when I am really in need of it. And thank you mommy for all the effort to bring such many goodies from the China trip! From the most tiny little things to the best things of all: the Love u both given to me, I should never thank you enough! I really love u both very very much and at the moment of writing all these, I feel like hugging u both! Really really miss u both so much! Especially daddy whom I only see twice a year!

And my dearest bro John. How would my life be if u were never come into my life?! I love you truly and I thank you for such a good companion and soulmate to me! All the silly jokes, the laughter, our own secretive dramas that I bet only two of us can understand… I just love u sooooo much! Thank you for standing up for me, for pushing me forward and supported me all the way through! As a bro, u have been the best u can already be! Sorry if I’d ever been rude and abusive to u (when we were kids la, now no more right?! I think no more la…) or holding u so small or comparing u to myself, and if I ever hurt you in anyway, please forgive me… Sometimes, I am just too blind to see. But there is no one else better than you, you will be the best husband for every lady out there and I know you will be a good father to your own kids one day! I love you for being the best brother one could ever had! Thank you John!

And to AsiaWorks…Everyone in AsiaWorks…I don’t know what to say anymore cos I feel like I had been repeating this again and again and my friend who is reading this should bored to death if I continue repating myself in this way… The best things happened to me despite having a good boss like Mr Tan is to join AsiaWorks! Totally no regrets and totally amazing, I know I still got some eggs to crack! And I will!

And thanks to Mr Tan who always being sacarstic yet very helpful to answer (not, not actually answering to me question but guiding me to my own answers) my questions. Always giving me chance no matter how lousy I am in Civil Law and Commercial Law…You taught me very well and I shall learn more from u the next year, yes, with your help, I will get my CLP! Thank you for all the advices and most of all this opportunity that you have given to me! I am still thankful with the allowance amount that you offered me, is really something above market price and you offered to me when I don’t even know I deserved that! Thank you!

And to Matt, Boon Siong, Michael, Isma, Wai Jin, Erik, Chi Yan and Nina… I should say few of you are really someone I am very afraid of. I can’t hide anything despite the truth, and the truth is always something I am so afraid to seek. But somehow, you all shown me what Diana Ling really is, what she really made of, and whoever choose the song : Welcome to wherever you are by Bon Jovi, that is really something reaches the deepest side of me… I thank you!

And all my LP108!! For everyone, seriously…Everyone! I believe in fate and it is fate that we are together in LP108. From every little bit of efforts, I thank you all!

And for my dear friend, Wendy… For the past two years living with you was the joyous moment of my life… Having you as my craziest fren and most supportive frens. I still love the time you drove ur dad’s pajero and we blast all the Ah Lian songs! I know this sound weird for u, but true inside, I love you my fren, I know u will be reading this, but dun be shy la…I really do, and you are a really true fren that help me almost everything! So, we r gonna make it for our CLP this year and remember our goal? Get our CLP before 25 lah!!!

I also like to thanks my other colleagues that help me alot in my work, especially Jo, Mary and Mr Kwong! Bibi too, you have been a great fren at work, thanks for all the junkies u shared with me!

And my fellow friends out there whom I seldom see these days… Siew Yin la, Ah Kit la…Alvina…Ah Taq and Victor, Brandon… Danielle, Peili, Jamie, Lucca, and the lists goes on… Thank you for being part of my life and most importantly make my life so beautiful!

Thanks to Darren Teo too…for…aiya, you know what you did to me la…hahha, if it was not because of you, I wouldn’t have notice so much about myself…so…I owe u a big one! You kept to your promise and u have been very responsible. I acknowledge you for that!

Special thanks to Jonathan and Ali. You two are my very special buddy! One looks like my bro another looks like my dad! Thanks for standing by my side, supporting me when no one else wil even bother… I thank u both for really living the spirit of a leader!

Also thanks to my relatives, my 4th uncle, George! (after 23 years, I know you got an english name…) You had been most patient and supportive! And also to my cousin Joyce… You had been most helpful throughout the years when I was studying alone in KL, and you still are now! Thank you for providing me a good stay at your place! Thanks to my 2nd uncle who is taking care of grandma! Thanks to my eldest aunt who always welcome me to her home and prepared me good food!

Thanks to people I barely know who has been helping me without expecting any returns, eg: the lady on the Subang bus named Mag and a man at Damansara who gave me 5 bucks to pay for my taxi when I dun hv change… Thanks for those who help the other gratituosly… eg: Mama Norlina who offered her home to the orphans and can offered so much more to the other orphanage during Raya! Thanks to people who care for this society and this country! Thanks to the government for running this country well enough to maintain (I wouldn’t say good…but somehow ok la…) Thank you all!